- Lie to ourselves about the nature of the addiction so we can ignore negative consequences,
- Lie to others to avoid judgmental scrutiny
- Engage in activities (church, running club), thought processes that distract you from addiction
- Deflection/blaming -
- Deflect the issue to avoid awareness/discussion. I haven't got a problem, you are one with the problems. I do this because I wasn't allowed to. There is nothing wrong with me I'm normal. I got an education, a hot spouse, great kids, etc.
- Practicing exclusion
- stay sick because you surround yourself with other sick people, keep the healthy ones away, shame/ridicule the critics. You join the marathon group, a clique with others who share the addiction.
- Helplessness/Apathy -
- woe is me, I'm so fucked up, I can't do it
- Rebellious attitude, often rooted in attachment disorder
- Fuck this, I'm going to do what I want
We lie to ourselves about the nature of the addiction so we can ignore negative consequences of our addictions. We lie to others, particularly our loved ones, to avoid the judgmental scrutiny that might cause us guilt and shame. If our loved ones see us smoking, for example, it will bother them and they will naturally attempt to discourage the addiction. Since most grow up in judgmental environments (i.e. we are constantly judged by parents, teachers, priests, friends, etc.), loved ones (and even professionals) typically default to shame and guilt as a deterrent. Guilt and shame are terrible deterrents. Guilt and shame NEVER deter. When people are shamed for their addictions, they learn to lie and hide these addictions, rather than doing the work or seeking some help.