EPMO (pronounced ep-mo) shorthand for the phrase Egotistical, Polly-syllabic, Multi-metaphoric, Obfuscation. This phrase is used to describe the tortuous correspondences, arbitrary associations, and toxic grammatical complexity used by some writers to obscure truth, divert attention, hide their own ignorance, and bolster their own ego. EPMO is common in esoteric and scientific writing but can be found anywhere ideology, ignorance, and damaged ego abound.

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The absence of EPMO is a requirement of an accessible an authentic spirituality.[1]

Egotistical, polysyllabic, multi-metaphoric obfuscation (EPMO), a.k.a. Rocket Speak often occurs when a diminished and damaged ego uses unnecessary linguistic or metaphoric puffery to convey to others that it is superior in some way, or to convey the impression that it understands something that it does not. You often find EPMO in literary, academic, and/or intellectual circles. Linguistic or Literary EPMO is more common than metaphoric or visual EPMO, though metaphoric EPMO does exist, especially in artistic and/or esoteric circles.

The only known cure for EPMO is a good slap in the face with a fish. Failing that, a sound giggle and some childish finger pointing often does the trick. If you are a victim of EPMO, you can self-treat by a) learning to not take yourself so seriously and b) repeating the following magical invocation, several times, with deep intonation, bended head, and downcast eyes: “Huck mir nisht a chynick, and I don’t mean efsher.”

Is "speaking on tongue" a Christian form of EPMO? In 1 Corinthians 14, the early christian preachers advocate against the use of EPMO.

Aleister Crowley is the king of EPMO.


  1. Sosteric. Rocket Scientists’ Guide to Authentic Spirituality. St. Albert, Alberta: Lightning Path Press, 2019. https://press.lightningpath.org/product/rocket-scientists-guide-authentic-spirituality/.